🗓️ Holding On and Moving Forward — October 4–21

Mood: Where do we begin? In general, for all four of us, the mood is one of determination and fight. Last night I quoted a line from one of Chloë favourite movie series (The Hunger Games) — “remember who the enemy is.” That being the cancer, not those at the hospital or closer to home. The weather and fall colours here in the Ottawa Valley have been so been so lovely of late that we’ve been able to get outside in her wheelchair for rolls around the block, taking in all the Halloween decorations around the neighbourhood. We all feel immense gratitude — to our families, our friends, colleagues past and present, classmates and their parents, both the girls schools and our community — beautiful Barrhaven, for holding us up through all of this.

Medical Update: The reason for the delay in this entry has been how incredibly busy these last few weeks have been. Chloë was discharged from one of her two consecutive chemo weeks right before the Canadian Thanksgiving long weekend. Though we were sad not to see our immediate family, we had to ensure that we did not put Chloë her at risk of catching anything so we could stay on track with treatment. She was able to have the turkey she wanted and enough leftovers to give her one less day of hospital food. These past two rounds of chemo were some of the hardest — back-to-back weeks of treatment and long stays in hospital. The biggest news came yesterday (Oct 20th) when we received the date of her amputation: October 29. We had expected more time, but her specialists at the Ottawa Hospital (General campus), CHEO, and the Children’s Treatment Centre decided moving sooner was best. We are still processing it all. Chloë is heartbroken not to be home for Halloween — she had planned to decorate her wheelchair with glow sticks — but she’s been told that CHEO is actually one of the best places to celebrate, with the whole hospital getting dressed up. Her occupational therapist has also visited to plan what we’ll need at home, from ramps to grab bars to bathing supports. It’s a lot to take in, but we’re doing our best to stay grounded.

Emotional Check-In: There have been so many emotions these past few weeks — devastation, anger, shock, but also laughter and gratitude. Chloë is doing as well as any teenager can under these circumstances. Losing her hair was hard enough; facing the loss of a foot has brought new waves of emotion. We’re proud of how she continues to meet this journey with courage and heart.

Education Update: We’ve been incredibly supported by Chloë’s school (thank you JMSS!) and her interlink nurse. Since she can’t attend in person this year, she began with two classes remotely. As the weeks went on, it became clear that even two was too much with all her treatments, so she’s focusing on the one she wanted most — Early Childhood Development. Her teachers and the CHEO education staff have been nothing short of amazing. We’re hopeful that next September she’ll be able to return to school for Grade 12.

Moments of Light: Even on the darkest of days, there are bright spots. During her last discharge day, a therapy dog named Lola came to visit. Though Chloë was elsewhere in the hospital for post-chemo scans, they kindly waited for her to come back so she could have a few precious minutes of snuggles.

Lola the therapy dog — a bright spot on a long hospital day.

Being away from our dogs at home, especially our old girl Mags (who just turned 14!), has been one of the hardest parts for Chloë. That same day, her care team came to take a mold of her foot — something we’ll keep forever. This week, CHEO is doing a “foot farewell photo shoot” to help her mark the moment in a positive, creative way.

Reflections: We’ve settled into as new a normal as possible, finding small moments of light between hospital days and medical updates. These last few weeks have been full — and ending with news of the upcoming surgery has felt like a lot. Even on the hardest days, we still find laughter and kindness all around us. We’re getting to know everyone by name now — from the nurses and doctors in the MDU to the people upstairs on the ward, those doing her MRIs and CT scans, and the team at admitting. To all of you who have texted, emailed, called, or reached out — even if we haven’t had a chance to reply, please know that we see them, we read them, and we appreciate them more than we can say. Knowing you’re all out there helps brighten even the darkest days. Thank you, truly.

💛 Much love,
Chloë’s Mom

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💭 Réflexions (version française)

Nous avons trouvé un certain rythme, un nouveau « normal », entre les rendez-vous médicaux, les traitements et les longues journées à l’hôpital. Ces dernières semaines ont été bien remplies, et la nouvelle de la chirurgie à venir a été difficile à absorber. Même dans les moments les plus durs, il y a encore des sourires, de la bienveillance et des gestes qui réchauffent le cœur. Nous commençons à connaître tout le monde par leur prénom — les infirmières et médecins de l’unité de jour, l’équipe à l’étage, celles et ceux qui font les IRM et les scans, ainsi que le personnel à l’admission. À toutes les personnes qui nous ont écrit, envoyé un message ou simplement pris des nouvelles — même si nous n’avons pas toujours le temps de répondre, sachez que nous les voyons, nous les lisons et nous les apprécions plus que nous pouvons l’exprimer. Votre soutien éclaire nos journées, même les plus sombres. Merci du fond du cœur.

💛 Avec toute notre gratitude,
La maman de Chloë